Zombie Maid!!!

Watch a higher-quality version HERE.

Day Job Awesomeness Part Deux:The Big Sleep and Home Delivery

First we have Sigur Rós playing in the lobby, and now The Big Sleep's "You Can't Touch the Untouchable" soundtracks one of our installation videos. I almost like working here today! The full context is available at the exhibition Web site for Home Delivery: Fabricating the Modern Dwelling, but here's the video itself...



(Video by my good friend David Hart, who is off getting married right now. Congratulations, David!)

Screw Clapton... Prince Is God

This year we decided to skip Coachella in favor of Sasquatch... and All Points West... and All Tomorrows Parties New York. (Man, I think I might have a problem.)

Anyway, while I still don't regret skipping a festival that gave headlining spots to Jack Johnson and Roger Waters's solo version of The Wall, the last-minute addition of Prince kinda bummed me out.

Then I heard about this...


(Via Pitchfork)

So in the wake of last year's Superbowl, has anyone noticed that Prince, like, totally rules again? If that second guitar solo didn't give you chills, your soul is broken.

The Big Sleep at Mercury Lounge, 2/21/08

You read that right. The Big Sleep at Mercury Lounge...again. Sound was a little muddy, but we had a nice time. And I took artsy-fartsy pictures.






I'll post the full set on Flickr is the site ever gets fixed. In the meantime, I also took somemuddy sounding, not-so-tasty (once I compressed it for YouTube, that is) video...

Artisanal Cocaine: For Those Who Demand the Very Best

My good friend Josh at Dilettante Films has finally hit the big time. (And if you look closely, you'll even see fellow Secret Square Tye in the background at the video's end.)

Nada Surf at Music Hall of Williamsburg (2/7/08) and Bowery Ballroom (2/8/08)

Two nights of seamless power-pop with New York's very own Nada Surf! Despite their reputation among the general public as a 1990s Alternative Nation one-hit wonder thanks to 1996's "Popular" (MP3), Nada Surf has amassed a large and die-hard indie-rock following. And although their latest album, Lucky (which came out last Tuesday) is good-not-great, they put on one hell of a live show. Highlights on both nights included "Blonde on Blonde," "Happy Kid," "Always Love," new track "Ice on the Wing" (MP3), and a show-stopping version of "Killian's Red" (MP3).

Unfortunately when I took out my camera to grab some shots of the Williamsburg show, I realized the battery was still at home charging. As for the Bowery show the following night, it was one of the darkest, reddest shows I've seen in a long time. Which means my pictures pretty much suck. (Check out the "entire" set at Flickr. Hopefully Redboy will post his shots soon. **UPDATE: Redboy's pix are up.)




The show culminated in the most well-behaved stage invasion of all time...


And here's some (surprise, surprise) dark, red-lit video of "Blonde on Blonde"...



Finally, some bad news and some good news:

First, the bad news. Criminally underrated American cinema icon Roy Scheider passed away yesterday at the age of 75. Best known for playing a cop (or a spy) in almost every cool movie of the 1970s (including Klute, The French Connection, The 7-Ups, Jaws, The Marathon Man, and Sorcerer), Scheider continued to do great work well into the 1990s, from All That Jazz, Blue Thunder, and 2010 to gritty neo-noir projects like 52 Pick-Up and Romeo Is Bleeding. In a weird way, it's akin to losing a really cool older brother.

We'll all miss you, Chief Brody.

Now for the good news. As reported at Gothamist, Brooklyn's McCarren Park Pool, possibly the city's the best overall summer music venue, will apparently be around for one more concert season. Maybe I'll learn to use my camera before then.

Vampire Weekend @ Bowery Ballroom January 30, 2008

Indie-blog flavor of the month Vampire Weekend brought their Talking Heads-meets-The Feelies vibe to a packed Bowery Ballroom last night, baiting New Yorkers with pro-Patriots rhetoric, and then re-winning hearts with cheerfully low-cal beat-pop. I haven't quite figured out how I feel about these guys. They're incredibly tight live, but there's something slight about their music. It's as if they aren't quite sure how seriously to take themselves. Given the fact that 80% of their lyrics are about college, youth may be a factor.

[Additional photos at Flickr]
Rock-crit considerations aside, the band sounded terrific and a good time was had by all. Here's some tropical guitar action caught on video...

(Also... Shots from the previous night's show on Pitchfork, and a Vampire Weekend Guest List to boot.)

One bit of unrelated ephemera: Check out Sleeveface immediately.

Friday Quickie

I have no idea whether this video is legit, but I can't resist because Kim's description was so priceless:

"A bird poops in a loser's mouth"

The Big Sleep @ Mercury Lounge, New Year's Eve

Truly a New Year's Rockin' Eve at downtown Manhattan's Mercury Lounge. The Big Sleep played a scorching set of old favorites, tracks from their new album, and, naturally, a 100% instrumental Led Zeppelin medley. Faces were rocked off. Ears were injured. A truly wonderful way to ring in 2008.

As you can probably tell, I was also breaking in a brand new camera. Needless to say I had not yet spent any quality time with the instruction manual when these shots were taken.



While my mastery of the photographic arts remains a work in progress, I was able to shoot a brief snippet of decent video:

Onward and upward with the arts! Happy New Year!

The Best (and Worst) Post-Nirvana "Alternative Rock" One-Hit Wonders of the 1990s

On November 23, 1991, Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit" hit number one on the Billboard Modern Rock Tracks chart. It was my sixteenth birthday.

Aside from providing the requisite "year zero" milestone that seems to kick off every autobiographical musing on pop music, I mention it mainly because the ensuing eight years saw a massive explosion – and the inevitable contraction – in "alternative" rock (more on what that means in a minute). Nirvana's success is rightfully considered the prime catalyst in alternative's mainstream breakthrough (not to mention its mainstreaming, in the pejorative sense). 1991 was, to borrow a phrase from Dave Markey's landmark documentary, "the year punk broke." In addition to "killing off" hair metal, the rise of the Alternative Nation led to the creation of Lollapalooza, briefly made "modern rock" radio the most lucrative format in every major market, and eventually gave us Empire Records, Manic Panic, and Hot Topic.

This is the part when I'm supposed to piss and moan about how "bloated" and "corporate" everything got. Well first of all, that would make me a massive hypocrite. From roughly 1989 until, say, 1994, I was listening almost exclusively to Los Angeles's KROQ and San Diego's 91X. By 1994 I had made the transition to college radio (mainly KALX in Berkeley, where I was also a DJ), but I still listened San Francisco's Live 105. I'd love to pretend I spent high school tracking down Wire bootlegs and Hüsker Dü 7"s, but I didn't. I may have loved The Pixies, The Stone Roses, and The Smiths, but I also really liked Jesus Jones, Ned's Atomic Dustbin, School of Fish, Stone Temple Pilots, and EMF. During alternative's ascendancy, modern rock radio was usually how I found out about new bands. I'll give you the perfect example. I saw P.I.L. twice in high school. But the second time was in late 1991, as part of the MTV 120 Minutes Tour with Blind Melon, Live, and Big Audio Dynamite II. And after P.I.L., I'm pretty sure I was most excited to see Live.

This is all just a meandering, long-winded segue into the topic I really want to get to. In the wake of Nirvana's big break, major record labels started scooping up so-called alternative bands by the armful, and MTV suddenly had scores of bands in heavy rotation featuring spiky, multicolored hair, striped sweaters, and some degree of affected ennui. In addition to major-label deals for such venerable acts as Mudhoney, Sonic Youth, and Dinosaur Jr., untested neophytes like Veruca Salt and Weezer were signed to huge contracts…with varying levels of success. The inevitable result of this alternative-music buying spree was a huge spate of bands that had one good single in them and little else. This one-hit-wonder syndrome is certainly nothing new. Just look at the new wave "new British invasion" (to use John Doe's phrase) of the early 1980s. (Ironically, the very bands that Doe sees suffering at the hands of these big-haired synth invaders in "I Must Not Think Bad Thoughts"—Minutemen, Black Flag, etc.—would eventually become the godfathers of the next modern-rock "revolution": Mike Watt, Henry Rollins, Thurston Moore, et al.)

Just as it was once unthinkable that a paranoid android like Gary Numan would have a huge stateside hit on his hands, suddenly MTV and major-market airwaves were glutted with "mopey" alterna-kids. Of course, as with A Flock of Seagulls and Men Without Hats, the music was basically catchy pop subsumed within an "edgy" look. I mean, there's nothing groundbreaking about Better Than Ezra and Blind Melon, but, for better or worse, they were among the standard bearers of the increasingly oxymoronic "alternative" sound.

So let's consider the post-Nirvana alternative rock one-hit wonder. To do so, I think we should stick with a fairly rigid set of criteria. We'll say the hit in question had to be released post-"...Teen Spirit" (so after September of 1991). And MTV cannot be the sole arbiter of "alternative"; the song must have been on heavy modern-rock or alternative radio rotation. (That gets rid of non-alternative bands like Blues Traveler, Spin Doctors, Duncan Sheik, Jill Sobule, Eagle Eye Cherry, etc.) We'll also say that bands with more than one legitimate hit are out. (I will not define "hit" too rigidly. A hit is like pornography; I can't define it, but I know it when I see it.) So there goes Smashmouth, Silverchair, 311, Sublime, Sugar Ray, Cake, The Wallflowers, and Toad the Wet Sprocket, who all inexplicably managed to produce multiple hits.

Alternative rock one-hit wonders come in many shapes and sizes: There's the classic here today, gone tomorrow one-hitter (Harvey Danger, Marcy Playground, New Radicals); the well-respected band that only crossed over once, but still has/had lots of indie cred (Nada Surf, Eels, The Cardigans, The Folk Implosion, The Rentals); the venerable but unmarketable band who inexplicably had one big hit (most notably The Butthole Surfers, with "Pepper"); the band that's big overseas but could only produce once in the States (The Verve, Siouxsie & the Banshees, James, The Proclaimers, and, strangely, New York City's own Fun Lovin' Criminals); and, finally, the grey-area bands who seem like they were huge stars, but only have one song anyone can still name (Third Eye Blind, for example).

Needless to say we're gonna do us some listin' hereabouts! Why? Well I woke up the other morning with an intense desire to hear Len's "If You Steal My Sunshine," and next thing I knew a list was taking shape. Apropos of nothing, basically.

And so, without further ado, *bitter defeat* presents…

The Best (and Worst) Post-Nirvana "Alternative Rock" One-Hit Wonders of the 1990s

Late 1991

"Girlfriend" – Matthew Sweet (Such an awesome anime-filled video)
"Rush" – Big Audio Dynamite II (video)
"Kiss Them For Me" – Siouxsie & the Banshees (As Tye pointed out, Siouxsie had a hit in 1988 with "Peek-a-Boo." I totally underestimated that song's crossover success: #53 Billboard Hot 100.) (video)

1992

"Move Any Mountain" – The Shamen (video)
"Pretend We're Dead" – L7 (video, live in Rio, 1993)
"Nearly Lost You" – Screaming Trees (video)
"Dyslexic Heart" – Paul Westerberg (video)
"Hunger Strike" – Temple of the Dog (An older song, but re-released to cash in on the whole grunge thing.) (MP3) (video)

1993

"Hey Jealousy" – Gin Blossoms (Embarrassing confession: I saw the Gin Blossoms before they were big. The embarrassing part? They were opening for Toad the Wet Sprocket.) (MP3) (video)
"Laid" – James (MP3) (video)
"Cannonball" – The Breeders (MP3) (Sweet-ass Spike Jones video)
"Runaway Train" – Soul Asylum (video)
"Fade into You" – Mazzy Star (MP3) (video)
"Pets" – Porno for Pyros (I know, this one's dodgy. See the Everlast entry below. Grat song and cool video, though.)
"I'd Walk (500 Miles)" – The Proclaimers (MP3) (Painfully Benny & Joon-tastic video)
"Hobo Humpin' Slobo Babe" – Whale (I actually saw this band open for Blur at Bimbo's in San Francisco) (video)
"No Rain" – Blind Melon (Originally released in 1992, but only charted upon its '93 re-release) (Goddamn inescapable Bee-Girl video)
"Low" – Cracker (MP3) (Cool b&w boxing video)
"What's Up" – 4 Non-Blondes (So many horrible goggles and dreadlocks in this video)
"Feed the Tree" – Belly (video)

1994

"Connection" – Elastica (MP3) (video)
"Seether" – Veruca Salt (video)
"Good" – Better than Ezra (God this song is irritating. So is this video.)
"A Girl Like You" – Edwyn Collins (How did the man behind Orange Juice end up making this video?)
"Cumbersome" – Seven Mary Three (This video has one hell of a mustache in it.)
"Stay (I Missed You)" – Lisa Loeb and Nine Stories (Look at her in her cute little glasses!)
"Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm" – Crash Test Dummies (I want to kill everyone in this video.)
"Mother" – Danzig (Not sure this counts… could be considered some form of metal. Perhaps "washed-up metal?") (Greatest video of all time!!!!)

1995

"Natural One" – The Folk Implosion (video)
"Lump" – The Presidents of the U.S.A. (No, their Buggles cover from the Wedding Singer soundtrack doesn't count as a hit.) (Swampy video) (**UPDATE** Oops, forgot about "Peaches," the follow-up single that actually made it to #29 on the charts. Still, most one-hit wonders do have a second single on the charts. It's just that people forget all about them.)
"In the Meantime" – Spacehog (MP3) (video)
"Friends of P" – The Rentals (MP3) (Did this video always have Russian subtitles??)
"Lovefool" – The Cardigans (video)
"More Human than Human" – White Zombie (Way before The Devil's Rejects, Bobby Zombie was directing his own videos.)
"One of Us" – Joan Osborne (video)
"Santa Monica" – Everclear (I insanely love this song. I bought this album on translucent green vinyl. I also love the video.)
"Ready to Go" – Republica (Car commercial or video?)

1996

"Novocaine for the Soul" – Eels (video)
"Pepper" – Butthole Surfers (One of the best videos of the entire decade. Gibby Haines and Erik Estrada in the same place!)
"Standing Outside a Broken Phone Booth with Money in My Hand" – Primitive Radio Gods (Possibly the most annoying chorus of the decade.) (video)
"Counting Blue Cars" – Dishwalla (video)
"How Bizarre" – OMC (…unless this had the most annoying chorus of the decade.) (video
"Scooby Snacks" – Fun Lovin' Criminals (video)
"Naked Eye" – Luscious Jackson (video)
"Popular" – Nada Surf (MP3) (video)

1997

"Sex & Candy" – Marcy Playground (MP3) (video)
"Bitter Sweet Symphony" – The Verve (Watch a supremely ugly Richard Ashcroft push people around in the video.)
"All for You" – Sister Hazel (MP3) (This video is almost as bad as the sub-Counting Crows song.)
"The Impression that I Get" – Mighty Mighty Bosstones (Most irritating band of the decade? They're certainly on the list.) (video)
"The Freshmen" – The Verve Pipe (video)
"Semi-Charmed Life" – Third Eye Blind (video
"Tubthumping" – Chumbawumba (Everyone's favorite anarchist collective shows off their interesting eyeglasses in the video.)
"6 Underground" – Sneaker Pimps (And an entire decade of hair-care-product commercials gained a soundtrack!) (video)
"Hell" – Squirrel Nut Zippers (Remember swing? Swing was so money for approximately 27 minutes! It was such a Zoot Suit Riot! Just look at this video.)

1998

"Closing Time" – Semisonic (I admit it, this song is a huge guilty pleasure.) (video)
"Flagpole Sitta" – Harvey Danger (MP3) (This song is just a pleasure. It's also one of the greatest distillations of what made the '90s such a bullshit decade: "I wanna publish zines / And rage against machines / I wanna pierce my tongue / It doesn't hurt it feels fine… The agony and the irony are killing me!" The video's pretty damn funny as well.)
"What It's Like" – Everlast (A bunch of my friends insist this was a hit. I have no memory of it. Also, I was conflicted: if Porno for Pyros' "Pets" doesn't count because Jane's Addiction had some hits, then Everlast should be ineligible because of House of Pain's "Jump Around." Screw it. I'll just add "Pets" instead. Anyway, here's the video.)
"One Week" – Barenaked Ladies (Enter a decade of fast-food commercials. I hate this song to the core of my soul. video)
"Torn" – Natalie Imbruglia (She used to have sex with Lenny Kravitz. Not in this video, though.)

1999

"If You Steal My Sunshine" – Len (MP3) (I also love this song to death. On the other hand, the video, which includes rampant scooter driving and fun having, inspires immediate dislike.)
"You Get What You Give" – New Radicals (In a symbolic end to all things even remotely alternative, teen music returns to the mall forever. This may not be Christian music, but it certainly sounds like Christian music. Hip, with-it Christian music. Jesus is, like, totally awesome!!)
"Kiss Me" – Sixpence None the Richer (And, at the end of it all, the nerdy girl throws off any semblance of individuality. She has finally succumbed to the imperatives of the marketplace, and she descends the staircase into the soul-killing embrace of Freddie Prinze, Jr. So endeth the 1990s. This about sums it up. Also, did you know this band is from Texas? With that name?)

1999 was a hard call, as the entire notion of "alternative" had become so hopelessly bound up with mainstream rock that bands like Kid Rock, Staind, P.O.D., System of a Down, Limp Bizkit, Sevendust, Buckcherry, and Orgy had become "modern rock" staples. Also, I freely admit that once I had to start dealing with these bands, I couldn't a) separate the one-hit wonders from the truly successful rap-rock monsters; or b) tell most of these bands apart at all. Who the hell can tell the difference between Godsmack, Creed, Staind, and Korn?

The Triumphant Return ofANDY KEATON'S FRIDAY VIDEO CORNER!!

Despite his recent legal troubles (oh, and these as well), the youngest member of TV's beloved Keaton family is out on bail and just itching to share some steaming piles of video hottness with you, his supportive public. Now stop staring at the mug shot and pay attention!

**What could be better than the Groovie Goolies cartoons, you ask. How about the Groovie Goolies EN ESPAÑOL? ¡Bienvenidos al SALON DEL HORROR!

**Most of you were around Ricky's age when you watched the Groovie Goolies Show. You know Ricky, don't you? And I'll bet you spent most of your time doing exactly what Ricky likes to do.

**Just be careful. According to many esteemed members of the clergy, that's exactly the kind of behavior that can lead you down the wrong path. (Which is only slightly less homoerotic than this.)

**Speaking of athletics, the only thing more amazing than last night's LeBron James performance is the TNT Halftime Show cast. Just look at how much fun these guys are having...

(Talk about mixed emotions: I'm loving the prospect of the Cavaliers beating the Pistons, but I'm forced to acknowledge the fact that the Cavs have no shot in the finals against the San Antonio Spurs. So do I root for the more fun team now, or the team with a more realistic chance of beating the most unbearable team ever?)

Special thanks to Andy Keaton for putting on a brave face. Let's hope he remains a free man so we can see more of him in the future.

Have a great weekend!

(I'm Always Touched By Your) Banjo Dear

You know how Debbie Harry is arguably the coolest chick in rock history? Let's just say Joan Jett and Chrissy Hynde dropped a few more notches when I saw this:


**UPDATE**
First voicemail allows Alec Baldwin's ungrateful little whelp to tarnish his reputation. Now YouTube is letting the spoiled fruit of The Hoff's loins hold her poor daddy's fun hostage. Just listen to her blatant attempts at paternal intimidation:

These kids nowadays... not a moment's hesitation in their flagrant violation of Commandment #5 (#4 if you're Catholic or Lutheran).

Sad Kermit

If this isn't the hottest viral video on the magical Interwebs already, well... it should be. Eat your heart out Trent/Johnny.

I never realized how depressing this song was until Kermit got a hold of it. I'm glad Rowlf has managed to land a, erm, "job."

And while we're on the embedded video tip, here's fellow Secret Square Tye making a (let's admit it, kinda weak) case for Depeche Mode's induction into the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame.


Finally, check out Monkeygrump's 60-second synopsis of Fight Club. Not enough action for ya? Then perhaps you should marshal your will and become adept in The Way of The Swayze.

I'll Take Potpourri for $400, Alex

Oh the sheer randomness of it all!


Daft Punk confirmed rumored tour dates today, and here's the kicker... The Rapture is opening! They're playing Coney Island's Keystone Park (Go Cyclones!) on August 9. See you all there... I'll be the one with glowsticks and a pacifier. As I have mentioned before, Daft Punk's set at Coachella 2006 is the best live show I have ever seen, Iggy and the Stooges included. See video of that entire set here. While you're at it, head over to their site and check out the teaser preview for the Daft Punk movie, Electroma. Still no word on a theatrical run here in the States, but apparently it's opening soon in Japan(?). Also, thanks to Rich for sending along this video of a helmetless Daft Punk playing Wisconsin's Even Further festival way back in May 1996. I'm pretty sure this was filmed on the day I graduated from college. That makes me too old for blogging. (Speaking of iconoclastic Gallic duos, Air also announced tour dates today. We get them at The Theater at Madison Square Garden on May 10.)

But wait...there's more! In yet more (albeit rather somber) Gallic iconoclast news, the legendary "postmodernist" philosopher Jean Baudrillard has died. The only thing worse than his death is the fact that, according to every obit I've read today, Baudrillard and his seminal Simulacra and Simulation are best known -- get ready to throw up -- because of the movie The Matrix. (What is it with bad Keanu Reeves films and great writers?? Think about it: Bram Stoker, Philip K. Dick, William Gibson, Shakespeare, Tom Robbins, Choderlos de Laclos, and everyone who's written issues of Hellblazer. The dude has the Cloaca Touch... everything he touches turns to shit. Except Point Break, which fucking rules to the max. Ironically, Baudrillard would have loved this digression.) Anyhoo, Boing Boing points to an this highly entertaining distillation of Simulacra.

Eddie Van Halen has entered rehab, finally scuttling any lingering hope for the warmly anticipated, perennially ill-fated Van Halen reunion. This guy? Rehab?? Inconceivable! The guy's giving Nick Nolte and James Brown a run for their money.

Finally, Brian the Designer sent a link to Rapcat. If you like rap and cats (and who the hell doesn't like rap and cats?), click on the "video" section and prepare to be pleased. And no, this is in no way connected to Paula Abdul's onetime animated sidekick MC Skat Kat. Thank Christ.

Enjoy. Have a great weekend.

"I Learned It By Watching You!"

...and parents who have wine cellars...have kids who drink too much wine. Mine do, and I sure did this weekend. The annual parents' Valentine's Day soirée in Miami didn't end as badly as some of my "Partying with the Parents" weekends (in fact, I was passed out before midnight), but I'm still a little slow today. In that spirit, here's an unimaginative selection of booze-soaked MP3s...

CSS - "Alcohol"
Amy Winehouse - "Rehab"

Blame a genuine lack of inspiration for the grab-bag approach today; two tropical vacations in two weeks (boo hoo) have turned my brain to shit... and my skin to a fine, supple bronze. Suffice it to say there is no segue witty enough to do justice to...

The Female or Shemale Quiz!
(Laugh now gentlemen, but upon seeing your final score your levity will curdle to a feverish questioning of your sexual proclivities. Abandon hope, all ye who are not secure in their sexuality.)

Speaking of never having sex with a woman, the second annual New York Comic Con kicks off in less than two weeks. I will be in attendance, along with Brian the Designer. (Afterwards we shall undoubtedly drink heavily at the bowling alley in the Port Authority bus depot, where we will likely contract Hepatitis C.) I consider myself immune to charges of pimply faced geekhood by virtue of having some actual professional interest in the procedings. At least, that's what I'm telling Kim The Awesome Girlfriend and anyone else with a vagina... as if "comic book critic" represents some quantum leap in fuckability. But...there may be hope for my professional/practical credentials as a functioning sexual being after all: Later this week AOL Music is launching its "69 Sexiest Songs of All Time" feature, and guess who's a major contributor! Someday I hope to be a bigger sexpert than Eugene Mirman.

I Wanna Point!

Patrick the Catholic, AJ, and the management were enjoying many, many beers at Black & White this week when AJ mentioned his newfound obsession with YouTube hunting. His main quarry? Hair Metal videos. And so, inspired, I set out to find some of my favorite music videos from the days when my eleven-year-old wardrobe included fingerless leather gloves, parachute pants, and (I shit you not) a zebra-striped bandana that I wore tied around my thigh.

I was being pulled in two directions, fashion-wise; you would think that my desire to join the cast of Breakin' didn't exactly dovetail with my equal need to become either the fifth member of Mötley Crüe or David Lee Roth himself. In my preadolescent wisdom, I chose a terrifying amalgam of the two styles. Strangely, this was pretty common... lots of kids had Puma windbreakers and spiked bracelets on at the same time. It is, in retrospect, troubling. This phase would eventually pass, as trend turnover seemed, to me at least, much faster in the '80s. Unfortunately, my next phase consisted of pegged Bugle Boy cargo pants, a "Don't Blame Me, I Voted for Bill & Opus" T-shirt, and whatever Maui & Sons items I could find on the sale rack at the big Santa Monica JC Penny's. It wasn't until around 1994 that I was able to dress myself properly. But I digress.

As I said, I was inspired to locate some of my favorite videos. I offer the following pair to dramatize the severe aesthetic tensions that warped my fragile young mind. First we have Ratt's "Lay It Down" video, which features a truly nasty creepy clown/creepy kid double-whammy. Please note how much Stephen Pearcy likes to point. It is rude to point. So what Stephen is saying, essentially, is, "Ratt is fucking rude! Fear Ratt!" His pirate shirt, however, turns our fear into eye-watering laughter.

...and then there was the other side. Ollie & Jerry's "There's No Stoppin' Us" was the massively inspirational jam that powered many a massively inspirational montage in Breakin' (which today simply inspires massive ridicule). Again, notice the ritual application of fashion accessories. At the time, this was considered quite "badass," or, as I used to say, "dude-ical." Today, however, it would be considered "gay," and would take place primarily in a five-person artist's loft on Williamsburg.

(A note on Breakin': I, and all of my peers, wanted to be like Turbo. No one wanted anything to do with Ozone's retarded zoot hat and feather earring. Even as impressionable youths, we knew this idiot was a complete waste of space.)

Anyway, thanks to AJ for the trip down memory lane and the clip of Def Leppard on Regis and Kelly. I always wondered what they said at the beginning of "Rock of Ages."

"Whatever I find offensive must also be DESTROYED!"

Post frequency just isn't what it used to be around these parts. Mea culpa, man, but I'm busy as hell. The management promises some new and exciting content in the coming week, but in the meantime here's another video clip. This one's mostly for the nerds, but even you "normals" should get a kick out of it. Behold, Earth's rudest supervillain:

Magneto Is Kind of a Jerk

Neil Peart, Destroyer of Worlds

"What about the voice of Geddy Lee/How did it get so high?/I wonder if he speaks like an ordinary guy/(I know him, and he does)/And you're my fact-checkin' cuz" -- Pavement, "Stereo"

You should watch this video.

If Loving This Is Wrong, I Don't Wanna Be Right

I don't even have words.

[Thanks Aimee. Holy Shit.]

Tarzan no use article. No need conjunction. Tarzan use noun, verb!

What does your Netflix queue say about you and your friends? According to this Slate article, the picks at the bottom reflect the person you want to be, while your top selections reflect who you are. Given the fact that my top ten includes season 2.5 of Battlestar Galactica, Bloodrayne, and Silent Hill, I am apparently a trenchcoat-wearing Marilyn Manson fan who's mere days from a school-cafeteria shooting spree. But I really want to be a pretentious ass who watches lots of foreign flicks! So I'm screwed either way, really.

The Gawker media empire has launched it's new music blog, Idolator. Meh. Whatever. Big opening manifesto, no subsequent excitement. The Sound of Young America, on the other hand, is great. Go to the archive and download interviews with everyone from Fred Armisen and Patton Oswalt to Eddie Argos of Art Brut and Chuck Klosterman. Good stuff all.

Alright... it's been a while, but now it's time for...

ANDY KEATON'S INTERMITTENTLY OCCURRING FRIDAY VIDEO CORNER


First, a question... Whatever happened to Drink of the Week?? That was my favorite video show of all.

It's remarkable what you can find when you search for a single word on YouTube. Take "Tarzan" for example. You'll find, among other stuff, two seemingly unrelated clips featuring attractive (underage) girls lip-synching to a cheesy/bizarre first-person Tarzan-and-Jane club track. Like this. And this. I don't get it.

This clip has to be seen to be believed. [Thanks Gaël!]

Check out the Yeah Yeah Yeahs acoustic AOL Interface session.

Finally, the most insane clip of the month. Star Trek slash-fic video!

That oughta keep you going for the weekend. Adios, muchachos.